Free Form Friday: Belated Oscar Reaction

Truth:  I fell asleep during the Oscars this year.  

Truth:  That has never happened before.

Truth:  I don't think I missed much.

I do, however, have opinions about what people wore.  Because, you know, this isn't a fashion blog, and I am far from a fashionista.  But everyone and their mother is allowed to have opinions about fashion on Oscar  night.

Honorable Mentions:

Amy Adams.  Love it.

Jennifer Lawrence.
I, along with every other blogger and woman in the country,
want to be her best friend.

Best Dressed:

Reese, I adore you.
And that's my favorite color.  And your hair looks fabulous.
And you just had a baby.  Let's have lunch.  OK?

Jessica Chastain.  Looks amazing.

No Dice:

Oh Anne.  I have always loved you.  But ... you are seeming fake these days.
The term "humble brag" comes to mind.  And also, this dress makes you look like your
high beams are on.  YouknowwhatImean?

Jennifer, I adore you and your cute Affleck family.
And I know this is Gucci.  But you look like a grape
with a fancy tail.  Sorry.  It's true.

Here's hoping that you don't fall down any stairs today, and that you do not look like a grape.

Ta ta for now,
Proper Paige

Back to Basics Monday: Hostess Gifts

When I was growing up, Proper Mother impressed upon me the importance of taking "hostess gifts" or "bread and butter gifts" when I visited someone.

This is Instance #872 where Proper Mother was right.

What is a hostess gift, really?  

Better yet, what is a bread and butter gift?

A hostess gift is a little present to express your gratitude at being invited to someone's home, like for a party. A bread and butter gift is the same idea, but is generally a little more substantial and expresses gratitude at being invited to stay overnight at someone's home.  (Overnight event; beach house, etc.)

This sounds fancy.  What are some ideas?

I agree.  It does sound fancy.  But it certainly doesn't have to be.  In all honesty, bringing "a little something" to say thank you is a timeless expression of good manners.  And, as gifts usually are, pretty darn welcome from the recipient.

Since we are heading at breakneck speed into the holiday season, here are some ideas for hostess gifts that I like and would happily give.

1.  Wine.

Decoy Cabernet, 2010 (2009 also rocks), available here.

Proper Mother might turn her nose up a smidge at the thought of giving alcohol as a gift.  She's pretty old school (not that there's anything wrong with that!).  I, on the other hand, have no such reservations, so long as the gift is, well, nice.

Another gift that would likely be well received:

I am not a gin drinker, but even I know this is the stuff.

2.  Food.

I am headed straight to World Market to get some of these ginger snaps from Sweden, by the way.  Also, the tin is awesome and they would make a lovely hostess gift.

Yum.

I would also not decline a gift that looked like this, perhaps accompanied by an espresso cup and saucer?  Yes, please.

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3.  Flowers.

The eternal hostess gift is flowers.  I am a big fan of buying a few stems of whatever is fresh and in season, thus enabling the hostess to do some effortlessly chic flower arranging.  Something like this:

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4.  A fun house "thing."

Like these coasters.  I heart them.

From Williams-Sonoma.

Or these "I'm so worldly" wine glass charms.  I  heart them, too.

From Pottery Barn.

4.  Something for the kiddos.

It's time for us to start reading this gem to Proper Toddler.  Why not give it as a gift?

I am a big fan of Jan Brett's illustrations.

Also, this new addition to the Christmas books is pretty awesome:

I guess it's pretty clear that I'm gearing up for the holidays around my house, isn't it?  Would it be wrong to admit that I'm also already listening to Christmas music?  (I think not.)

Hope there is some jingle bell rock in your life soon.

Ta ta for now,
Proper Paige

Free Form Friday: Those Quirky Spades

Proper Husband isn't really a Jack Spade kind of guy.  He values design and utility, but I promise you that he would rather spend $500 on a Microsoft Surface than a laptop bag.

Microsoft Surface with Window 8 $499

Jack Spade Tech Oxford Laptop Briefcase  $495

I mean, right?

However, because I am a Kate Spade kind of girl, I was perusing Jack Spade's holiday offerings, just because.  In doing so, I stumbled across this little etiquette-licious stocking stuffer.  They are called "Tie Breaker Coins."  Here is what both sides say:

You lose with this side.  In a sense.

This would be "heads."  Because you don't have to apologize.  In theory.

I think that's funny.  But I think it's funny in that weird way when it's Time to Christmas shop and Starbucks breaks out the RED CUPS! and it's time to BUY ALL THE THINGS!  Sure, they're only $15.  But you do realize that's 3 lattes at Starbucks, right?  Or like, a shirt at Target?  Either of which is a lot more fun than having someone pull out a coin to tell you that you're paying for drinks tonight.

And so, as I struggle to keep my Christmas shopping/consumer/realist head above water, I have to say this:  If I were having a disagreement with someone and they pulled out a wooden coin to decide who was going to apologize, I would want to say ridiculously argumentative things and apologize even less.  

Is that just my Irish temperament?  Not sure.  Anyway, no spoiler alerts here -- not buying these for Proper Husband.  But I did have to share.

Um, that said, how is your Christmas shopping going?

Hope your day does not have flipping coins in it.

Ta ta for now,
Proper Paige

PS:  Hey also, how awesome is this?  I can't help it.  I really am a Kate Spade kind of gal.

Brightspot Avenue Little Kennedy  $348

Wedding Wednesday: In Praise of the Passed Hors d'oeuvre

First off, I will say this:  I can never, ever, spell hors d'oeuvres properly.  (This, despite the fact that I was the Galena Middle School spelling bee champ in the year nevermind.)  I always have to look it up.

My inability to spell the word is disproportionate to my love of the culinary event, though.  I have to give praise to my newly married cousin, Corinne, who nailed the hors d'oeuvres at her recent wedding to the handsome Adam.  

At cocktail hour (another event that I love), servers unobtrusively made the rounds with the likes of:  crab stuffed mushroom caps and mini muffulettas.  I think she also had bacon wrapped shrimp or something delicious, but after the wedding day extravaganza, I was so hungry that I ate it and don't *exactly* recall.  (Sorry, Rinnie.)

It occurred to me that this might be a good time to touch up on what exactly the clumsy phrase, "passed hors d'oeuvres," really means.

What exactly is a passed hors d'oeuvre, anyway?

Passed hors d'oeuvres are appetizers or "finger foods" that are served from a tray carried directly to guests at a social gathering, such as a cocktail party or reception. Also referred to as tray service or butler service, passed appetizers are an alternative to placing hors d'oeuvres on a stationary table or buffet line.

A few ground rules to remember with these sneaky snacks:

1.  They should be finger foods.  If you're in a fancy outfit and one hand is clutching your Chardonnay, it is imperative that your finger food be actual finger food.  Don't give me something that I need two hands to eat.  My brain will short-circuit and I won't know what to do.  Say no, when I'm really hungry?  Say yes, but then force me to stand there, awkwardly finishing my conversation, until I can jet to the nearest high top table to eat what is now cold?  Mais non, mon amis.

As for some examples, I found some interesting ones.  Chilled curry corn soup?  Easy to down with one hand.  (Granted, the server needs to linger for the cup, but otherwise, very apros pos.)

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On the other hand, a mini salad in a glass?  Cute, but it totally defeats the purpose.  And let's be real.  Don't you want foods that have a lot of carbs and cheese during cocktail hour?  Salad comes later.  When you have two hands, are seated, and are enduring enjoying speeches or something.

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2.  They should not be messy.  I think this goes without saying, but grease spots and chiffon don't mix well.  

For instance, look at these ingenious sushi bites.  I am in love.

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On the other hand, I think, is these mussels.  I adore mussels.  If these guys have been detached from their shells, doctored up, and are being served in the shell for presentation, I'm in.  If they have not been detached from their shells, I am out.  N'est-ce pas?

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3.  Feel free to be creative.  Corinne gets top marks for having mini muffulettas at her reception.  It was a New Orleans celebration, through and through, and that really carried the message home.  They were fun and delicious and totally appropriate. 

That said, if someone wanted to invite me to an event where they served yellowfin tartar, I would not say no.  

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Or mini crab cakes.  (You can take the girl out of Maryland...)

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All in all, this is the time at an event when you want to encourage mingling, stave off hunger attacks, and keep everyone from getting too drunk because it's only cocktail hour, after all.  A good appetizer, whether raw, cooked, on a spoon, or in phyllo, will accomplish that.  

I am currently accepting invitations, I might add.

Hope your day has a mini crab cake in it.  I really do.

Ta ta for now,
Proper Paige

Wedding Wednesday: Anne Hathaway Strikes Again

So, this might be the second time in a week that I've worked Anne Hathaway into my blog.  I guess it's not surprising that I think she's pretty awesome.

I am dying for better pictures of her (recently worn, real life) wedding gown than these grainy ones that we've all seen a hundred times by now:

And, while I scoured the Interwebs for better pictures (finding nothing, that private little minx), I was reminded that she has worn wedding dresses on the big screen.

Remember Bride Wars?

Remember Princess Diaries 2?

She also wore this to a ball shortly before the wedding:

Which do you prefer?

(I've got to say it.  I prefer the dress from Bride Wars.  I want to love her real wedding dress so badly, but I can't get past the head thing.  Le sigh.)

Hope your day does not have a weird head thing in it.

Ta ta for now,
Proper Paige

Taking Questions Tuesday: Betty Wants You to Call

When Betty Draper invites you to a dinner party, you need to RSVP.  Do not, I repeat, do not, make Betty bust out the crystal and then have the indecency to miss the event.  As I believe the old adage goes, "When Betty ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."  (Or something like that.)

Given that Betty Draper didn't have email, this means you needed to call her.

Awesome thought:  If Betty had been on Twitter.
"Stupid Don got a dog for the stupid kids. #guesswhosgoingtotakecareofit"

But, in today's world of email, Evite, Paperless Post, Twitter, and the like -- do we have to call to RSVP anymore?  Sometimes yes, when the invitation only gives you that option.

So, RSVP by calling.  What's the big deal?  Well, what if you don't actually know the host or hostess, and start feeling kind of shy?  In truth, this happens more often than you might think.  Baby showers, bridal showers, wedding-related events -- all can be hosted by close friends or family members that don't personally know the broad range of invited guests.  

What is the etiquette of a phone only RSVP when you don't know the host/ess?

1.  Pick up the phone.  Just because you're nervous doesn't mean the host needs to know if you're in or out any less urgently.  They have food to prepare, chairs to arrange, and they need a headcount to do so.  Also, make sure to call at a moderately convenient time.  Just because you're a night owl doesn't mean they give a shit if you're coming to the baby shower at midnight.  Ten AM is much more civilized.

2.  Introduce yourself.  It stands to reason that if you don't know them, then they don't know you.  So, start by introducing yourself.

"Hi.  I'm Shitty Uncle Lester.  I am Proper Paige's uncle and was invited to the Frisbee Golf Tournament and Pig Roast next weekend."

3.  Don't over-explain.  If you can't attend, tell them so.  Even if the reason you can't attend is because you have to wash your proverbial hair.  A polite, "I'm sorry that I can't make it" will suffice.

"Thanks for the invitation.  So sorry that I won't be able to make it!"

"Don missed dinner AGAIN.  He can eat cold meatloaf for all I care.  #thankgodforwine"

4.  Include a headcount.  While a totally organized host might have a guest list handy to look at while on the phone with you, a normal person probably doesn't.  Which means that they aren't totally sure if you were invited solo, or if you're coming with Marcia, Jan, Cindy, and the rest of the gang.  So, to help make your RSVP both accurate and useful, you should specify the party for which you are calling to RSVP.  

"Marcia, Jan, and I are so looking forward to the Luau next weekend.  Bobby and Greg can't make it.  But we'll see you then!"

5.  Wrap it up.  Granted, you didn't want to make the call anyway.  You would have much preferred to write a breezy email and be done with this RSVP business.  But, now that you've mustered the courage to make the call, you should also be able to muster the presence to wrap it up.  

"Thanks again for the invitation.  Looking forward to it!  Bye."
"Thanks again for the invitation.  Have a great time!  Bye."

See?  It's that easy.

And you might even muster a smile out of Betty if you play your cards right.

"Doing the grocery shopping.  Again.  Like I have nothing better to do.  #FML"

Or not.

Hope your day has smiles in it.

Ta ta for now,

Proper Paige

Back to Basics Monday: Hygiene is Private

A good friend of mine saw someone in the airport this morning.  He was a stranger to her.  He sat, at the gate, waiting to board his early morning flight.  

As he sat and waited, he flossed his teeth.

As I drove to work the other day, I did some people-watching at a red light.  The woman in the car next to me was a stranger to me.  She sat, in her car, waiting for the light to change.

As she sat and waited, she picked her nose.

In truth, I know HRH just needs a private moment in her gilded carriage at times.  I judge not.  But ... there are hankies.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and confess something.  I do both of these things.  I floss my teeth AND I pick my nose.  

The difference?  I do them in the bathroom.  Pretty much exclusively.  And I feel good about that.

Put this in the category of things you already know, things you would never do in public, and blog posts that feature the Queen picking her nose.  That third list should be pretty short.

Hygiene is private.  It does not blend with travel (air or auto).

Hope your day had ... well, some nice moments.

Ta ta for now,
Proper Paige