Taking Questions Tuesday: Ye Olde Yankee Swap

Picture it:  Sicily, 1920 (just kidding). (Though that is one of the best TV shows ever.  Just ask my husband.) 

You've been invited to a Christmas party.  The invitation says:  "Please join us for an old-fashioned White Elephant party!"  

What do you bring?
a.  A nice bottle of Scotch
b.  An ugly pair of slippers that shitty Uncle Lester gave you last year
c.  A box of homemade truffles
d.  A bag of peanuts (?)
e.  None of the above, but you do make sure to wear as much white clothing as possible

Same question, except this time, the invitation says:  "Please join us for a Chinese Christmas party!"

What do you bring?

a.  A nice bottle of Bordeaux

b.  A fleece kitten throw blanket that shitty Uncle Lester gave you the year before last

c.  A jar of homemade salsa

d.  All those packets of soy sauce that you keep thinking you'll use

e.  None of the above, but you do wear your best Confucius costume

Same question, except this time, the invitation says:  "Please join us for a Yankee Swap!"

What do you bring?

a.  A bottle of Bombay Sapphire

b.  The cheetah print Snuggie that Aunt Myrtle gave you last year

c.  A tin of homemade cookies

d.  Someone from the East Coast that you wouldn't mind getting rid of

e.  None of the above, but you do wear your best Pilgrim costume

Answer:  Either (a), (b), or (c) is a good answer to all of these questions.

Proper Paige, what on earth are you talking about?

I'm talking about this question:  

Proper Paige, can you please explain the difference between a White Elephant and a Chinese Christmas?  I've been embarrassed twice this holiday season by bringing the wrong thing to each kind of party.

Oh, the holiday party scene is an etiquette minefield.  And my friend got a little battered this year.  They posed the question because, after attending a few "themed" parties, they were left with the impression that a White Elephant party is one that involves guests bringing, drawing for, and swapping gifts that are funny and/or not-so-awesome.  The impression was also that a Chinese Christmas party is one that involves guests bringing, drawing for, and swapping gifts that are actually desirable and nice.  A mistake of interpretation here has yielded some blushing that's not from the eggnog.

OK, here's the deal:  White Elephant, Chinese Christmas, Yankee Swap, Dirty Santa (wow, right?), Parcel Pass, or Christmas Swamp Thing (?) are all the same thing.  

1. Bring a funny/gag/regifted/not totally awesome "present."  
2. Draw a number.
3. When it's your turn, pick a gift and open it.
4. On subsequent turns, someone can choose to either pick a gift from the unopened pile or steal a gift that has already been opened.  As in, someone can steal your gift.  If this happens, you can either steal or select again.
5. Usually, one item can only be "stolen" two or three times, after which it's "frozen."  This keeps the game moving so everyone isn't fighting over the wall clock with the Virgin Mary on it.  (No joke; saw this happen once.)
6. Hilarity ensues.

But, is there etiquette for a party like this?  

Well, it seems that there is, since my friend and loyal reader can't be the only one who has misjudged what to bring to a party like this and been embarrassed.  So, do you bring the funniest thing you can and plead ignorance if no one wants it?  Or do you play it safe and bring a bottle of something every time, safe in the knowledge that someone will always want what you brought?

I'm not going to lie to you, dear readers.  Left to my own devices, I would probably bring a bottle of something each time to make sure I'm safe from the humor and irony nuances of a party like this.  But, if that's the "answer," then after long enough, we'll all just be swapping bottles at parties like this, and that totally defeats the purpose.  So, I will buck up and tow the line:  

Use your best judgment and your sense of humor.  Bring the Uncle Lester gift.  Bring the humor.  Holiday parties can use the levity.  Go for it.

But, this doesn't totally address my friend's question.  To the inquiring mind behind today's question, I say this:  I think that you may have gotten stuck at a party where the concept of "Chinese Christmas" [or other inexplicable but confirmed by Wikipedia name for this type of event] got a little bit misconstrued.  It's supposed to be funny.  It's supposed to be goofy.  And if you brought a gift that matches your (wickedly awesome) sense of humor, then it's not you that was off base.  Promise.

Seriously.  Promise.